Ethical Dilemma

So I have an interesting situation that has recently developed at work....I have befriended one of our cafeteria workers who is a recent immigrant to the US. Befriended is perhaps an overstatement, I have just engaged in polite conversation each morning and afternoon and gone out of my way to go through her check-out line. She works ten hour days, 6/7 days a week! Her name is a challenge for an english speaker, so she always shows delight when I get it right. My interaction with her and a few other cafeteria workers has become my favorite part of each day.

So, in the past two days she has intentionally not charged me for my milk at breakfast (I always get a bowl of oatmeal and raisins, milk, and a cup of instant coffee (yek). The free milk is a small token of appreciation from someone who has very little to give. But here's the rub, its not her milk to give away! I really appreciate the gesture, and the impact on the food service company is clearly insignificant, but should I be accepting such an offer, especially if it becomes a regular occurrence?

Now I know the obvious answer here is to politely decline, leading to a moment of embarrassment on her part, and a rectified situation. For me, her warm greeting is worth many, many times more than the free milk, but I can't think of a way to graciously communicate that.

So, do I refuse such a small gift from an overworked, underpaid worker who likely comes from a culture where gifts are highly valued, with the alternative to basically aid and abet stealing milk from our cafeteria? Or should I find a way to reimburse the cafeteria coffers while continuing to accept her token gift of a free milk (thus reinforcing that this behavior is acceptable)? Or am I just being silly and should look a gift milk in the carton?

I for one do not think there is an easy answer here, but would like to get your input. What do you think I should do?

Long Beach Island NJ - Pics

Here are a few pics from our time on Long Beach Island. Also shown in some of the pictures are our friends Nidhi and Shreya (just turned two).

Eggs Aplenty

We returned home from our vacation on the NJ shoreline to find a good store off eggs awaiting us! Between the eggs we collected prior to leaving and what the hens had laid, we had 74 eggs!!!

In this pic Kieran is helping Mommy wash the eggs (our free range chickens are not too particular where they step...). So our illicit egg trade is going quite well (and its a good thing we all like boiled eggs, scrambed eggs, egg benedict, egg sandwiches, egg ala-mode, etc....).

Pastor Wanted

This is a very sad, but true to life satire of how Pastor's are viewed in the traditional church. As most of you know, I grew up as a PK (pastor's kid), and many of these ring far too true. TBNN did miss a few though, particularly janitorial work and church finances (maybe that is only in a small church?).

It is a shame that many churches still operate in such a way that responsibility for the spiritual health of the community is placed on a pastor(s). Instead of being vibrant fellowships for spiritually healthy and growing individuals, many churches are more like nursing homes for the spiritually tepid and infirm. Of course, at the end of the day, who gets the blame? I have a particularly low regard for denominations that treat Pastor's as dispensable, discarding them when they are no longer useful (normally due to age). The role of a pastor is very similar to the role of a therapist/counselor, and should only be enhanced with age (experience and wisdom). Clearly churches that want young, energetic Pastor's are looking for something other than spiritual guidance.

New Jersey Shoreline

Maranda, Kieran, and I just returned from a relaxing long weekend on the NJ coastline. We were on Long Beach on the ocean side. Our neighbors had rented a beachfront townhouse and were kind enough to invite us along! It was a nice time of R&R, with very little on our agenda. I did manage to get a little fishing in, but only managed to catch sand sharks, a small rock bass, and a skate. I am interested in heading back up to check out the Striper Bass fishing later this fall.

For our drive home we took the scenic route along Highway 40, which cuts across most of southern New Jersey. It is quite rural, as we quickly discovered when we started watching for a resturaunt to stop and eat. We finally found a place called "Good Vittles" that was still open at the late hour of 7:30pm. It became very clear that everyone in the resturaunt knew each other, reminding both of us of our rural roots.

It was a fun trip, I realized that it was my first vacation on the East Coast since our move (Maranda enjoyed a trip to Virginia Beach earlier in the year)!