First I want to express a heart felt thanks to my Singaporean friends who made my trip so enjoyable and meaningful. I definitely experienced Asian hospitality first hand! While the list is too long to capture everyone, I want to especially thank Chung How, Stacy, Barry, Janette, Yau Tian, Amy, Oo Wai, and everyone else that I have failed to mention. You guys were great and definitely the highlight of my trip to Singapore. Really, relationships are far more precious than sights, especially when you share experiences together! I am deeply grateful to your friendships and your willingness to be patient with an overly talkative individual who was never afraid to invite himself to any/all happenings! Take care and see you all soon next year!
I also want to thank Maranda and my son Kieran for letting me travel halfway around the world for a full month. Their patience and love carried me many a lonely day, they are truly at the very heart of anything I do.
And now a few more random thoughts on hospitality. The Asian emphasis on respect and hospitality was evident even in less likely places, like the service I experienced in my apartment suite. With full room service (food if required, laundry, cleaning, etc), I encountered many of the hotel workers, yet I can say that every single one was exceedingly courteous and friendly. Now granted, this is a five star hotel, so perhaps my sample was artificially weighted by selective hiring, however even when I have experienced similar service in the states there is often a bit of resentment that one can pick-up under the "friendly mask." I have especially noted this with other men around my age. However, in this stay I only found sincerity, try as hard as I could I did not pick up hidden resentment or a sense of "I am only doing this for you because I am paid!" Instead, each person seemed genuinely courteous, beyond the point needed for their job.
This same impression was re-inforced many times over, enough to convince me that respect for others is deeply ingrained in the culture. Of course I had heard this before, but had never experienced it myself. I was quit curious if I could see past the "facade," but at least in the majority of cases, it seemed to be an inner quality, not just and outer quality. How wonderfully refreshing! Additionally, when giving you something the Chinese use both hands and dip their head in a gesture of respect. A small thing perhaps, but over the course of a day as a "consumer," it was amazing how much it impacted my mood.
Perhaps the most dramatic contrast was my flight from Tokyo to the U.S. I changed planes in Tokyo and had an early experience that brought to my attention that the flight attendants were no longer from South Asia. Early in the flight drink service was provided. My seat companion (a Roman Catholic Ph.D student in religious education from Singapore) and I were both a bit groggy and surprised by the sudden presence of the drink cart. My companion looked up at the flight attendant and said "sorry" (in the British usage) to indicate that he hadn't clearly heard her request. She stood with hands on her hips and said with a surly edge to her voice "Honey, take a look, why do you think I am here!" Abashed, my companion quickly requested a fruit juice and I did the same. As she moved on down the aisle, he exchanged glances with me, indicating his surprise at her response. I felt a need to explain that in the U.S., her "attitude" was not terribly uncommon and was "taken with the turf," but instead I just nodded my head indicating my own frustration as well.
Now certainly I have had many excellent experiences with flight staff in the U.S., but this one example would simply NEVER happen in Asia, based on my experiences, as it would be profoundly out of character in a place where respect for other's is so highly valued. Food for thought, and certainly a refreshing experience for someone like myself with a strong penchant for sarcasm!
Later,
Ken
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Home Again
What a wonderful feeling it was to feel the plane touch down in Dulles after 21 hours in the air (with a brief lay over in Tokyo). A short cab ride later (actually, it felt exceedingly long!), I arrived home. Because me return was a day early (unbeknownst to Maranda), I wasn't sure if anyone would be home at 4:00 in the afternoon. Seeing the car was gone, I paid the cab driver and entered the house with my luggage expecting to wait for Maranda and Kieran's return. What a wonderful surprise to be greeted by our babysitter and Kieran!! When I entered the door, Kieran's response was complete surprise, he took a stunned look at me and then ran out of sight into the Kitchen. He made the loop through the dining room and came back into the room, but wasn't able to look at me (his face still clearly showed his surprise). He stood pointing at the fish tank, still unable to grasp my return. I crouched next to him, giving him time to adjust to my sudden return (Maranda hadn't prepped him yet, expecting me to return the following day). He pointed earnestly at the fish tank, intensely babbling and waving his arms.
After a few minutes of calming down, Kieran was finally able to turn and look up at me. My heart melted when I offered my arms to him and he slowly reached up to me. As I sat holding Kieran, his warm body felt both familiar and strangely foreign at the same time. I could tell he was feeling similar emotions, as he was still struggling to look at me but was reaching his hands back to touch my arms and my face.
The baby sitter left and I sat basking in the presence of my son, from whom I had been parted for four eternally long weeks! On a developmental level four weeks is a very long time in a one year old's life, clearly he had changed both physically and mentally. Kieran sat in my lap, not clinging but holding very still, as if he was afraid to move in case it was all just a dream. I talked to him and told him how much I missed him and how beautiful he was. His body began to relax in my arms and he began to turn his face up to mine. After a few more precious minutes, we went and took a warm bubble bath together, a wonderful relief for a wearied traveler and an amazing experience of re-uniting with my son.
Now, a full 24 hours later, the feelings of warmth and joy continue. My son is so precious, in ways that far transcend my meager words. This morning when he first awoke he again expressed surprise to see me, although without the hesitation of the day before. He immediately began to feel my face as if to validate that the prior day had not been simply a dream. Then with coos of joy he rubbed his face against mine and draped his body across mine, literally pulsing with love for his father, and his father reciprocating the same.
I have much more to write of my home coming and further reflections on my trip, but I will save these for a later post.
Ken
After a few minutes of calming down, Kieran was finally able to turn and look up at me. My heart melted when I offered my arms to him and he slowly reached up to me. As I sat holding Kieran, his warm body felt both familiar and strangely foreign at the same time. I could tell he was feeling similar emotions, as he was still struggling to look at me but was reaching his hands back to touch my arms and my face.
The baby sitter left and I sat basking in the presence of my son, from whom I had been parted for four eternally long weeks! On a developmental level four weeks is a very long time in a one year old's life, clearly he had changed both physically and mentally. Kieran sat in my lap, not clinging but holding very still, as if he was afraid to move in case it was all just a dream. I talked to him and told him how much I missed him and how beautiful he was. His body began to relax in my arms and he began to turn his face up to mine. After a few more precious minutes, we went and took a warm bubble bath together, a wonderful relief for a wearied traveler and an amazing experience of re-uniting with my son.
Now, a full 24 hours later, the feelings of warmth and joy continue. My son is so precious, in ways that far transcend my meager words. This morning when he first awoke he again expressed surprise to see me, although without the hesitation of the day before. He immediately began to feel my face as if to validate that the prior day had not been simply a dream. Then with coos of joy he rubbed his face against mine and draped his body across mine, literally pulsing with love for his father, and his father reciprocating the same.
I have much more to write of my home coming and further reflections on my trip, but I will save these for a later post.
Ken
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Foolish Peace
I found this painted doorway deep in china town in Melacca, Malaysia. I was struck by the message and very curious to know the full story. There is much truth that living peacefully comes at a cost at times (if not all the time?). Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jesus, and many others suffered for their courageous peacefullness. They were "fools" to believe that humankind could live together in openness and dialogue, even love. They were fools to believe that centuries of ethnic and religious barriers could be broken down, and ideed, they suffered greatly during their lives.
And yet, as I write this post I reflect on my time here in S. Asia. I have made many friends and found everyone warm, accepting, and engaging. At any given time there might be three or more religious traditions reflected in our group, yet accord, not discord, rules the day. Is it possible that those who suffered for peace have moved the very foundations of humanity, that kindness, understanding, and love may be more the norm today than 100 years ago?
And yet there is still much anger in the world today. For those who wish to intervene, to be courageous peacemakers, are we prepared to suffer for our belief in a better world? Watching from the side is much safer than being an agent of change, yet in our hearts (in my heart), is that really all we desire, all we are capable of?
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Malaysia Trip
I traveled to Melaka Malaysia this weekend with six Singaporeans and six Americans. It was quite an adventurous trip (albeit hectic)! Malaysia is quite different from the predominantly Chinese Singapore, even though Singapore is just off the tip of Malaysia and the countries were actually briefly merged in 1963. Malaysia has less economic development and is more traditionally muslim in most parts of the country. This made this brief foray a very interesting experience.
This picture really demonstrates the type of city Melaka is, with the old city in the foreground, and a new modern building in the background. (It also demonstrates the significant gap between the poor and rich in this country).
The entrance to Melaka's China Town, wonderfully colorful!!
There are many Chinese temples and Mosques in Melaka. This is a picture inside an absolutely gorgeous temple.
In front of the temple are incense burners for prayers and blessings. Here a Chinese woman is lighting a bundle of incense.
The local gas delivery truck! ;) I have found S. Asian's very ingenuitive and creative about what they can load on a motorcycle!
A working blacksmith's shop, see the anvil in the center. There were a number of these scattered about, and I watched one craftsman patiently work metal with obvious skill. Certainly takes one back to a time when the pace of life was slower, no running to home depot!!
I will place additional pictures in a 2nd post below.
This picture really demonstrates the type of city Melaka is, with the old city in the foreground, and a new modern building in the background. (It also demonstrates the significant gap between the poor and rich in this country).
The entrance to Melaka's China Town, wonderfully colorful!!
There are many Chinese temples and Mosques in Melaka. This is a picture inside an absolutely gorgeous temple.
In front of the temple are incense burners for prayers and blessings. Here a Chinese woman is lighting a bundle of incense.
The local gas delivery truck! ;) I have found S. Asian's very ingenuitive and creative about what they can load on a motorcycle!
A working blacksmith's shop, see the anvil in the center. There were a number of these scattered about, and I watched one craftsman patiently work metal with obvious skill. Certainly takes one back to a time when the pace of life was slower, no running to home depot!!
I will place additional pictures in a 2nd post below.
Malaysia Trip x2
This is the 2nd post on my Malaysia trip to Melaka. The first post is above.
A chicken slaughter house I encountered in China town. I entered and told the owner that I also raised chickens in the United States. He was quite interested and proud to show me his shop.
Caged chickens available for purchase. Cost is 7 Ringgits per kilo, which is equivalent to $1 USD per 2.2 pounds of live Chicken.
A famous "chicken rice" cafe inside of China town. My Singaporean friends had lunch here, unfortunately I had a late breakfast at the hotel and skipped out.
I am on the left.
This statue really spoke to me, although I can't quite identify why?? On my next trip I will have to see if Maranda will let me put this in the living room. :P
Dining in a renowned Satay cafe. It was just a hole-in-the-wall but my friends from Singapore (not pictured) have a blood-hounds nose for tracking down good food. Indeed, I have it from many sources that Singporeans are renowned for the love of eating and it is considered the top national pastime. Here is one source.My lonely planet book says that it is common knowledge that Singaporeans will "swim a canal for chili crabs!"
Similar to fondue, the raw meats and vegetables were cooked in a pot in the center of the table. The sauce was heavily flavored with peanuts and chilis, quite sumptious!
My friends from Singapore after the meal (the resturaunt sign is at the upper right). The Singaporeans ate us under the table, we just couldn't keep up! My friend Stacy (the petite girl behind my left shoulder) ate as much as myself and another goodly sized American male, and looked no worse for wear, wow!!
It was really a great experience, although hectic at moments. Our 3 vehicles became separated at the border of Malaysia, resulting in my car driving alone to Melaka (1.5 hours to the north). Luckily we found the hotel after criss-crossing the town only 3 times! I was also stopped at the Malaysian border by the police and told that I had been caught at 143 km/hr at milepost 9. Knowing the Malay police are notoriously corrupt and always looking for bribes, I adamantly reasoned with the officer that Hertz rental cars from Singapore have a governor on the throttle which makes it quite difficult to achieve such high speeds (mostly true). In disgust he waved me on. I failed to mention that while difficult, 143 km/hr is not impossible given a nice downward grade! ;)
Later,
Ken
A chicken slaughter house I encountered in China town. I entered and told the owner that I also raised chickens in the United States. He was quite interested and proud to show me his shop.
Caged chickens available for purchase. Cost is 7 Ringgits per kilo, which is equivalent to $1 USD per 2.2 pounds of live Chicken.
A famous "chicken rice" cafe inside of China town. My Singaporean friends had lunch here, unfortunately I had a late breakfast at the hotel and skipped out.
I am on the left.
This statue really spoke to me, although I can't quite identify why?? On my next trip I will have to see if Maranda will let me put this in the living room. :P
Dining in a renowned Satay cafe. It was just a hole-in-the-wall but my friends from Singapore (not pictured) have a blood-hounds nose for tracking down good food. Indeed, I have it from many sources that Singporeans are renowned for the love of eating and it is considered the top national pastime. Here is one source.My lonely planet book says that it is common knowledge that Singaporeans will "swim a canal for chili crabs!"
Similar to fondue, the raw meats and vegetables were cooked in a pot in the center of the table. The sauce was heavily flavored with peanuts and chilis, quite sumptious!
My friends from Singapore after the meal (the resturaunt sign is at the upper right). The Singaporeans ate us under the table, we just couldn't keep up! My friend Stacy (the petite girl behind my left shoulder) ate as much as myself and another goodly sized American male, and looked no worse for wear, wow!!
It was really a great experience, although hectic at moments. Our 3 vehicles became separated at the border of Malaysia, resulting in my car driving alone to Melaka (1.5 hours to the north). Luckily we found the hotel after criss-crossing the town only 3 times! I was also stopped at the Malaysian border by the police and told that I had been caught at 143 km/hr at milepost 9. Knowing the Malay police are notoriously corrupt and always looking for bribes, I adamantly reasoned with the officer that Hertz rental cars from Singapore have a governor on the throttle which makes it quite difficult to achieve such high speeds (mostly true). In disgust he waved me on. I failed to mention that while difficult, 143 km/hr is not impossible given a nice downward grade! ;)
Later,
Ken
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